We can't control our children?

For those of us who believe we can’t control our children, congratulations on giving up our children and speak for yourself. Children are totally at the mercy of adults. Everything they see, experience, hear, and have access to is controlled by adults, especially in a capitalistic society which does not recognize children as full participating members until they are 21 years old. Unless there are adults who cop out and expose children to age inappropriate stimuli and situations because “the child is going to experience it anyway” a child’s interactions with the world can be simple and safe. In 99.9 percent of the instances where a child breaks the rules you can find an adult who helped them do it.

            My mother and father controlled almost every move I made. They monitored and limited what I could watch and listen to and where I could go. If I was not in voice distance I had to let them know where I was going. If I was going to a friend’s house it would have to be a friend whose parents my mother had met, that she had visited before, and that had a phone number. No exceptions. If I went to the store I had a time limit. My room was searched sporadically and I was not allowed to bring home anything that was not bought for me by my parents. One day a friend and I switched jackets and my mother made me walk to his house to return it and get mine. She was the final word on everything from clothes to hairstyles. My father reinforced everything my mother said and of course added his own set of rules. Both of them let me know that privacy and autonomy was not an option until I was taking care of myself and outside of their houses. They also let me know I would fear God or meet him – NO EXCEPTIONS!            

            I concede that children who steal are the exceptions to the rule, but barring blatant theft all inappropriate behavior is aided by adults. Children smoke because adults buy and sell them cigarettes. Children drink because adults buy and sell them alcohol. Children dress scantily because adults buy them scanty clothes and give them money and allow them to buy scanty clothes. Children watch inappropriate television programs because adults give them access to the televisions and channels with the inappropriate content. They listen to garbage music because adults buy them garbage music and give them money and allow them to buy garbage music. Barring theft there is no getting around adults. Everything a child has used to from drugs to weapons has been manufactured and distributed by an adult. Even children who steal have been exposed to what they stole before they stole it by an adult.

            If the community participated in the raising of all children there would be no outlets or safe spaces for negative behavior. We wouldn’t have children terrorizing neighborhoods or schools. As for the children I bring into this world, they will be monitored and controlled and any adult who prescribes to the “the child is going to experience it anyway” attitude will be promptly removed from access to them and replaced with an adult who has a spine and sense of responsibility. Lastly, for all those who think my views on parenting are extreme or will alienate children I say what I said to a girl who was a resident of a group home that I was working at, the way your parents raised you got in a group home and the way my parents raised me has me working in one and making money off of what your parents didn’t do. The End.